Dear Mom,

Three years. When I say it out loud I find myself shaking my head, similar to how Daddy used to when something would upset him.

In marking this day, I’m trying very hard not to think of it as the day we lost you, but as the day you finally found peace after a long and treacherous illness.  

In the end, to be honest, that’s a bunch of crap.

I say that because you are missed…and not just by me, but by all of my friends who knew and loved you. We still talk about you frequently – about your smile, your laugh, your cooking, your kind and generous heart…but most of all we remember your strength and courage.

I know, I know, I know…you never wanted to be a burden on anyone, but as you never were in life, you certainly aren’t in death.  Our memories of you aren’t solely based on expressions of sadness, they more about our love for you.

In these last three years, I’ve come to learn and understand that missing you (or anyone you love for that matter) isn’t a vein and destructive exercise. It’s an expression of love – love in this instance for the person who always put me first and made me the man I am today.  

So on this day, there will be no mourning. Only smiles, funny stories and music…which thanks to you, continues to be as important as the oxygen I need to breathe. 

I love you Mom.

Christopher