It’s difficult to come up with witty commentary all the time. I’ve done my best to be as witty as possible when I write about the things I feel passionate about. But I’ll be the first to admit, there are just times when wit has no place in commentary.
This is one of those times.
When I saw the title of this video, I thought surely, it must be a news story produced by The Onion. Alas, it’s not.
What it is, is a fucking moron [Senator Ted Cruz] wrapping bacon around the barrel of a gun, covering it with tin foil and firing the weapon multiple times until the bacon cooks.
Now I’ll admit, I know way more about shoes, baseball and men than I do machine guns. But in the video entitled “Making Machine-Gun Bacon with Ted Cruz,” is Ted Cruz even using a machine gun? Please don’t respond, because I don’t care.
In the immortal words of Miranda Priestly, “that’s all.”
Repartee Room 
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