Vote…None of the Above!

In 1985, Richard Pryor starred in a movie called Brewster’s Millions. Pryor played Monty Brewster, a minor league baseball player who is on the verge of inheriting $300 million from his recently departed rich uncle. The catch…he has to spend $30 million in 30 days and not tell a soul why he’s on a mad spending spree.

Seems simple right? Well…the rules set forth by his Uncle are a bit complex. He is forbidden him from donating too much to charity (no more than 5%), he can only gamble away up to 5%, AND when the 30 days are over, he can’t retain anything purchased. In other words…he has to be flat broke and when the 30-day period ends [sounds like a Republican Presidency].

Midway through the movie, Brewster decides to run a campaign for Mayor of New York. Actually it’s more of an anti campaign…against the two individuals vying to be elected. He calls his campaign, “None of the Above” and spends millions on advertising trying to get his message across. These days he’d probably be able to accomplish this with a week’s worth of advertising. The campaign works so well, that he ends up leading in the polls as the election nears. However, since the job comes with a $60,000 a year annual salary [for Mayor of NY??], he is forced to drop out of the race. [I know what you’re thinking….maybe this is what Donald Trump is trying to do. Sorry…he’s just not that cleaver. More below.]

It dawned on me this morning…we desperately need a Monty Brewster to mount a vigorous campaign against the field of idiots running for Republican nomination for President. Then maybe the GOP can start anew with someone who isn’t an a-hole.

Speaking of a-holes, I wasted 10 minutes last night watching Donald Trump’s “rally” in Dallas. For 10 minutes he gestured, made funny faces and spoke about how great he is and how he will make America great…blah, blah, blah. Now, as a student of politics, I’m well aware that campaigns are about ideas, messaging and yes bullshit, but Donald is all bullshit. And the pod people who attend his rallies, I honestly don’t know what else to call people who go to a rally and cheer for someone who’s rhetoric sounds like the teacher from Charlie Brown, stand and cheer for him as if he’s said anything resembling an idea that could actually solve a problem. It’s truly dumbfounding.

On Wednesday night…instead of watching round two of the Republican “debate,” I’ll pop in Brewster’s Millions. If I’m going to waste an evening laughing, it might as well be at something that is meant to be funny rather than a debate among idiots for the highest office in the land.