Two Badass Women, Gloria Steinem, and Me

I have two “older” sisters from another mother who probably started teaching me about feminism long before I had any idea what feminism was.

When they got married, they kept their maiden names. I was young, and I didn’t really understand why that was important. I just knew it was different. Remarkably different.

I did, however, make the mistake once of calling one of them by her husband’s last name.

I was corrected. Very quickly.. and never made that mistake again.

Yeah, they were… and still are, badasses.

They also introduced me to Gloria Steinem.

It wasn’t like they sat me down and told me about Ms. Steinem and the women’s movement. I was young. I didn’t understand the women’s movement or what Ms. Steinem represented. And I certainly didn’t understand the battles that had been fought, or how much courage it took for women to stand up and say, very simply: We deserve the same opportunities. The same respect. The same choices. And the same ability to decide what our own lives should look like.

But I knew it mattered because these women I loved and respected showed me it mattered.

And as I got older, I understood why.

I LOVE women.

I’ve had the incredible fortune throughout my life to be surrounded by all kinds of women. Strong women. Funny women. Brilliant women. Tough women. Complicated women. Women who take absolutely no crap. Women who lead loudly, and women who can command a room without saying very much at all.

And I can say without batting an eyelash that I have learned something from every one of them.

They’ve made me smarter. They’ve made me more compassionate. They’ve challenged me when I needed challenging and supported me when I needed supporting. And, as my two “sisters” demonstrated pretty early on, they’ve corrected me when I needed correcting.

From the women of the “Third Row” project development where I grew up, to the women I went to school with who are now amazing mothers, lawyers, doctors, religious leaders, elected officials, professionals, friends, and just all-around good people, women have helped shape who I am.

That is just one of the reasons I appreciate Gloria Steinem so much today.

Her impact isn’t something that exists only in books about the women’s movement. You see it in the women around us.

Women who know their worth. Women who speak up. Women who make their own choices. Women who refuse to allow somebody else to define who they are or what they can become. And women who make damn sure the next generation has even more choices than they did.

Gloria helped create a world in which those women could expect more—and demand more.

And she challenged men, too. Not simply to “support” women, but to listen to them. Respect them. Learn from them. Stand beside them. And, most importantly, recognize them as equals.

I didn’t understand all of that when my sisters first introduced me to Gloria Steinem.

I do now.

And I also understand that the work isn’t finished. Some of the battles may have changed, but the need to speak up, push back, and protect the progress that has been made is every bit as important today. Maybe more so, because progress has a funny way of looking permanent right up until someone decides to take it away.

So, Ms. Steinem, thank you.

Thank you for being willing to make people uncomfortable. Thank you for refusing to accept that “that’s just the way things are” was ever a good enough answer. Thank you for fighting battles that changed the lives of women you would never meet.

Thank you for helping generations of women understand that their voices mattered, their choices belonged to them, and nobody else got to decide the limits of their lives.

And thank you for influencing two badass women who, in turn, helped influence me.

I’m very lucky they did.

And I’m a better man because of it.